Twenty Weeks!

Hello to all,

Crazy but...you all should know...I'm pregnant!



In fact, my daughter, is 20 weeks now! :) She is my blessing. She is due exactly ONE YEAR from my date of remission from cancer! She is my miracle baby - and although it is going to be truly difficult to be a single mom, I am so blessed to have been given this blessing. I'm scared, but I know this is right, and I know the Lord wants to keep me! :)

Everyone, this is an older picture - new ones are to come...but, please welcome Miss Olivia Lynn to the family! :)



Now for the update - I wish I could report that everything has been smooth with this pregnancy - but it hasn't. It's been tough. I have been in and out of the hospital since day one - and this week hasn't proven to be much better. I have been in the hospital for the last 4 days and now I am sentenced to bed rest for another 4 days - what a pain! Seriously, it's really hard to be alone right now. How am I supposed to be able to function - to be able to take care of myself, my daughter in utero, my two dogs, and still be on bedrest? What about my job? This is so stressful, right now I am praying for PEACE!

Please pray for me...

I LOVE YOU ALL!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

It's Remission...

Well Ladies and Gents...(FEBRUARY 27th, 2010...what a GREAT DAY! REMISSION!)

I have so much to say, and yet - nothing at all can actually be said - other than I'm praising God for healing me.

At a time when I should be the happeist I've been in a while, I'm actually pretty down right now. I'm really not sure why and I can't even begin to explain it. I will write more later, but I wanted you all to know and share in the good news!

XOXO <3 Aim P.S. >> I will post some fun pictures soon too. LOL

I didn't ask for this...

I don't think anyone "asks" for cancer but sometimes I want to scream from the roof tops...."I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS".

How does one really come to terms with the fact that they have cancer? This is not a rhetorical question I really want to know. Some days are better than others but mostly it’s still a battle. What would I be doing right now if I had never had cancer?

I'll never know the answers to this question and I am not looking for anyone to console me I just need to ask it out loud. This question, and many more, go through my head like a song on repeat. I know there are many cancer fighters and survivors who feel the same way and that's why I am writing this post. I know it’s very personal and that's scary but I don't want you to feel alone or be afraid to ask the same questions out loud.

So many of us put on a brave face when we tell our stories; people look up to us as though we are strong or have some type of cancer fighting super power. I wish that was true but we are just like those who never heard, "You have cancer" The only difference is we were given something no one wants, we fought it. But we are still regular people who have fears, hopes and dreams.

So…here’s the update…

I am currently taking cyclophosphamide chemo pills, I have to take two pills every day after dinner, thank goodness they do not give me extreme side effects; however I do have some nausea in the mornings, but it’s a small price to pay – I suppose…I had been given some anti-nausea meds, but they really didn’t work for me – so I found my own kind. I have been using GINGER (ginger candies and ginger chews have really helped me). I have been given Avastin, numerous times now…which is an anti-angiogenic which works on shrinking the blood vessels that feed the tumors – given in an IV and takes all of a half an hour. (I’ve been doing this once every two weeks.)

Last time we talked I had a 1.4inch hemorrhagic cyst on my left ovary – well, it’s still there, but the pain has subsided.

The CT Scan/Ultrasound results were showing great results – no new growths, normal hemoglobin levels, and shrinking tumors…I did, however, have strep throat and I was faced with a decision about having a surgical procedure or opting not to have it…

Well, here’s the UPDATE:
Strep throat is gone. Hemoglobin levels are still looking good. I opted to NOT have the surgical procedure – yet opted to change the way the cancer was being attacked…so we upped the ante here…I’m taking double the chemo that I was previously and making even more frequent trips to see the doctor. I’m tired, I feel sick, and yet…all I can do is just keep pressing on.

Exciting news: I’m supposed to stop taking this chemo on February 26th…the same day that I am scheduled in for a PET scan and all sorts of poking and prodding!
I am staying positive – and all of your thoughts and prayers continue to help in the process.

I couldn’t have gotten this far without my Lord and Savior…and without each and every one of you – so I sincerely say, thank you!

Until the next update,

LOVE – in Him;
Aimee

(Oh, yes...and my hair is TOTALLY growing back in!!!) Love the picture? :)

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Praise Report...with explanation!!!

What a wonderful start to the new year of 2010! (Yes, this comes with a bit of sarcasm).

Friday Evening, a friend of mine, April, her husband Scott, and daughter Ariel decided to go to my company's New Year's Eve Party. Complete with fireworks! :) So, despite the chemo the day prior, I sucked it up and went to celebrate the bringing in of the New Year. Glad I went too. We dressed up in all sorts of cuteness and had a great time!

Saturday morning I was feeling pretty great! Saturday afternoon, I wasn't feeling good at all. I had some severe lower left abdomen cramping - to the point where I was in tears by 8pm Saturday evening. Anyone who knows me, would find the tears part of this pretty interesting. So...OFF the Emergency Room I went. I spent Saturday night through Sunday morning in the E.R. After being pumped with some contrast drink and dye for a CAT SCAN, morphine, dilaudid, and saline solution...my IV vien was infiltrated and I had a severe allergic reaction to the morphine - GREAT, NOT!~ So, that's when the bendryl came in, and a steriod shot, and felt pretty out of it - thanks to the dilaudid. Oh, and I took a picture of myself - haha, I couldn't resist posting it below! :) I had the CAT Scan and they showed two 4-5mm noddules on my right lower lung. This will be investigated further in future months. Also, the CT Scan showed something on my left ovary. This would be looked at in closer detail with my follow-up appointment Monday with my gyn/onc.

So, I came home early Sunday morning - totally drugged up. I slept the day away, and the Sunday night started getting itchy. I took my precription pain meds and some benedryl, thinking that the morphine reaction was still on-set. I woke up this morning (Monday) with the realization that this was VERY, VERY wrong! I decided I didn't have time to wait for my follow-up appointment so I jumped out of bed, put some clothes on - grabbed a cool compress for my face - and ran out of the house to the E.R. - yet again. I had an allergic reaction to the pain meds I was given. I woke up with my right eye almost swollen shut, hives all over my face, neck, chest, and arms. How awful, right?! So, I spent all day today (monday) in the E.R. again. I was given enough Benedryl to knock me out, given some Tramadol pain medication for the severe cramps which were STILL there. They performed two ultrasounds (both external and internally) and were able to get a better view of all sorts of stuff going on. I also took another picture posted below - note the red blotchy face and swollen eye. hahaha.

Now for the reports!!!
I have a 3.4cm (1.4 inch) hemorrhagic cyst on my left ovary. I will not be having surgery for it, I will be checking this all out again in 10-12 days to see how it all goes...

And now, the GOOD STUFF!!!
Priase God. During the CAT Scan Sunday and the two ultrasounds today (Monday)...the main mass which WAS on my cervix is M.I.A. - you've heard it, missing in action!!

So, the NEW PLAN OF ATTACK...to stop taking the oral Chemo on Friday - having a PET Scan, blood tests, and colposcopy, etc. on Tuesday Jan 12th. God is so good! Right now I'm just praying that there is complete truth in these results... ♥ ♥

Will keep you all posted...please continue to pray!